Clipperton
I don’t know why I fucking bother with anything. I hated you for a long time. I don’t know why I ever stuck up for you when you would slink around. I know you hated me then too, so I don’t know why you went through this whole song and dance. I wish I had acted worse in front of you I don’t have any energy for continuing like this. This is just the way that everyone is meant to progress until they die, all the bitterness is for nothing, and I just sit around and jack off and who cares about Sal anyways, she’s not gonna do anything with her life, just work pizza places and hotels and make ugly little drawings because she’s a lonely loveless little spaz and then go driving off the freeway in a fugue state and say oh no poor little sally ki and go right back to their happy families and their jobs and children.
My only regret is that one day I’m not going to be around to see everyone feel really sorry about it all. People take everything they have for granted. And the worst part is that none of this was really my fault. I don’t know what’s up with my fucked up sense of self but I guess I really am that bad. Part of me wants to embrace it like yeah this time is the right time, people have done worse over much less. It would really only take a second like, it’s kind of easy all things considered. The only issue being that I don’t think Gian, Mo, Sammy and Co. deserve that, the only persons deserving it being those that I can’t see anymore.
It would be fucking sick though, I would just spray until there’s nothing left, and I hope you’d have to look at my rotten fucking face caved in. My only regret is that I wouldn’t have gotten to watch you suffer. You want for nothing.