Return of the Jackoff
Holy fuck do you have any idea how long it took me to re-find this fucking site? You actually made me read infinite jest and go typing in random words like an asshole. Do you think I had a good time? Do you think that was fun for me? I don’t even know what happened in that book. Do you know how stupid my internet history looks punching in “yearofthedependadultundergarment.geocities.org” is? I’ve searched up niche porn easier to explain than this.
I told you already so I won’t belabour the point, but I’m sorry for not calling or writing. I promise I was not having fun without you unless you count paying a girl’s hospital fees and jacking off playing Earthbound again having a fun time. I can’t tell you how unhappy I am without you slapping right back that you’re getting paid seven dollars and twenty-five cents to take pizza orders and clean up shitstained towels at work (sometimes without tip, yes, I remember). How could I present myself to you?
While I'm at it, I'm sorry about the car and Sam's Pizza and the bathroom tiles. I keep trying to muster up something genuine and good to bring this all to a rousing finish.
I hope you take screenshots of all this and print them and huddle them away somewhere right next to your most immediate and complete archive of the local blood and guts news. I don’t know if I can really be good person. I think I’m too pussy for it. I hope you can archive it somewhere here that I tried. Love what you did with the place though. You should get a rug, it’ll really bring the site together.
